How?

How do you let go of someone who has influenced your life so much? Someone who used to be just a phone call away, now unreachable. I find myself in a familiar fog of memories and depression. My uncle, the man who raised me, is no longer here to finish the journey with me. I'm trying to square myself with the notion but it somehow seems unfair. One moment I'm mad at the universe for taking him away and then the next I'm fighting back the pain and the tears wondering why. This man meant a great deal to me because he was the one who instilled the values I carry with me to this day. He loved and cared about me when I didn't have the sense to care for myself. Were it not for him and my older brothers I would not be the person I am today. I owe my uncle a debt I can't even begin to repay and now that he's gone I won't even get the opportunity to try. I remember the day I moved out on my own like it was yesterday. My uncle Lester sat me down, passed me his beer and proceeded to give me some valuable advice on life. After he finished he got up, gave me a hug and told me he loved me and if I ever needed to come home I'd always know where he was. He kept that promise to me. Anytime I needed him he was there. Now he's gone...and I'm having trouble squaring myself with this new reality. This pain keeps eating at me like a disease. People say things like "this will pass" and "it will get better" but in reality it doesn't. Time doesn't heal the wounds it just dulls the pain to a bearable level. Pain that replaces the love I carried for my uncle. I've grown tired of hearing the idiotic things people say when they're trying to comfort you. Things like "well, he's in a better place." All I can do is smile and nod while I'm thinking "really!?! How the f***k do you know?" This is another in a long line of hurts I'm still carrying for the loved ones I've lost over the years. I think one of the things that angers me most is I didn't see this coming. I didn't get the chance to plan or prepare for this. I don't get the chance to stop this or make this better. I can't ball up my fists and fight this with him or fight for him like I've so many times over the years. I can only stand by and watch. Sitting here on my hands doing nothing. How do I live with that?  One day he was a phone call away and the next he wasn't. I keep asking myself why him? If I'm feeling this way I can't even begin to imagine how my cousins must feel now. Their pain must be 10x what mine is. What can I do to be there for them? I don't know but calling them more often than I called my uncle is a start.